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朝になって「つけっぱじゃん」と、まぁ、保存して電源を切ったのですが、今見たらとても乗っけられるような内容ではありませんでした。
だから書き直そうかな。
そうだ!絶望恋愛小説を書くのはどうかな。セカチューみたく流行るかもね。うん、流行るよ。アベックが少しずつ本性剥き出しになって衝突し傷つけ合う事だけのために一緒にいるお話。考えただけで鬱になるな。
今日紹介するマニアックなお話は「ウルトラセブン」これ、変な話満載なのです。かいつまんで説明すると毎週宇宙人が攻めてくる話なんだけれど、兎に角話が突っ込みどころ満載。海底で細々と暮らす地球先住民を攻撃して「海底も我々のものだ!」って隊長が叫んだり、たまたま地底で発見した謎の都市を「侵略者の基地かもしれん!爆破しろ!!」とか危険思想で一杯。しかもナレーションで「あの謎の都市、もしかしたら地底人の文化都市だったのかもしれません」とか言い出すし。子供はみんなビックリするしかない。「え、この人達ホントに正しいの!?」
そんな中でも今日はウルトラセブンさんの短気さが存分に楽しめる「超兵器R一号」をご紹介。
防衛軍は度重なる侵略に業を煮やし「されるまえに吹き飛ばせばいいよな」と結論を出す。そして惑星破壊ミサイルR1号を試作し、とりあえず無人のンギエロン星に打ち込むのだった。ウルトラセブン人間体は「そんなことをして、相手もスゴイ兵器つくりますよ!その繰り返しだなんて、血を吐きながら続けるマラソンじゃないか!」と、大人な意見を言うわけです。さすが宇宙規模の力を持つ男は良いこと言うね。
そんなとき、無人の筈のギエロン星から巨大生物が襲来する。放射能でパワーアップしたギエロン星の原住生物「ギエロン星獣」だ。
防衛軍は爆撃を繰り返すのだが、惑星の破壊も平気だった怪獣には通用しない。そこでウルトラセブンさん登場。さっそく頭のモヒカンを投げつけて見るのだが一切効かない。うーん強い。
「悲しい怪獣なんだよなコイツ」なんてセブンさんが悩んでいると、怪獣のビームが右腕にヒット。「あっちいな!おい!!」悩みは吹き飛びセブンさん激昂です。高らかにウルトラセブンのテーマが流れはじめ、怪獣の右腕に抱きつくと「うおら!」引きちぎってしまいました。ちぎった腕を頭の上でブンブン振り回し大満足のセブンさん。自分の右腕を眺めて「ああ、スッキリした」とばかりにちぎった腕を怪獣に投げつけるのだった。
しかしよく考えればこの怪獣に罪はない。腕をちぎられのたうち回る怪獣を見て、またもセブンさんは頭を抱えます。「ああ!!オレは何てことをしてしまったんだ。口では立派な事を言ったが、ムカついたらコレだ。オレのバカ!」セブンさんはのたうち回る怪獣に馬乗りになると「ごめんよ、楽にしてあげるから」と、モヒカンを外して手に持ち、怪獣ののど元をスパっとちょん切りました。どぴゃあああああああああああああああああああ!!吹き出る黄色い血で全身が染まったセブンさん。「今日も人助けができたな」と空の彼方にかえっていきましたとさ。
朝になって「つけっぱじゃん」と、まぁ、保存して電源を切ったのですが、今見たらとても乗っけられるような内容ではありませんでした。
だから書き直そうかな。
そうだ!絶望恋愛小説を書くのはどうかな。セカチューみたく流行るかもね。うん、流行るよ。アベックが少しずつ本性剥き出しになって衝突し傷つけ合う事だけのために一緒にいるお話。考えただけで鬱になるな。
今日紹介するマニアックなお話は「ウルトラセブン」これ、変な話満載なのです。かいつまんで説明すると毎週宇宙人が攻めてくる話なんだけれど、兎に角話が突っ込みどころ満載。海底で細々と暮らす地球先住民を攻撃して「海底も我々のものだ!」って隊長が叫んだり、たまたま地底で発見した謎の都市を「侵略者の基地かもしれん!爆破しろ!!」とか危険思想で一杯。しかもナレーションで「あの謎の都市、もしかしたら地底人の文化都市だったのかもしれません」とか言い出すし。子供はみんなビックリするしかない。「え、この人達ホントに正しいの!?」
そんな中でも今日はウルトラセブンさんの短気さが存分に楽しめる「超兵器R一号」をご紹介。
防衛軍は度重なる侵略に業を煮やし「されるまえに吹き飛ばせばいいよな」と結論を出す。そして惑星破壊ミサイルR1号を試作し、とりあえず無人のンギエロン星に打ち込むのだった。ウルトラセブン人間体は「そんなことをして、相手もスゴイ兵器つくりますよ!その繰り返しだなんて、血を吐きながら続けるマラソンじゃないか!」と、大人な意見を言うわけです。さすが宇宙規模の力を持つ男は良いこと言うね。
そんなとき、無人の筈のギエロン星から巨大生物が襲来する。放射能でパワーアップしたギエロン星の原住生物「ギエロン星獣」だ。
防衛軍は爆撃を繰り返すのだが、惑星の破壊も平気だった怪獣には通用しない。そこでウルトラセブンさん登場。さっそく頭のモヒカンを投げつけて見るのだが一切効かない。うーん強い。
「悲しい怪獣なんだよなコイツ」なんてセブンさんが悩んでいると、怪獣のビームが右腕にヒット。「あっちいな!おい!!」悩みは吹き飛びセブンさん激昂です。高らかにウルトラセブンのテーマが流れはじめ、怪獣の右腕に抱きつくと「うおら!」引きちぎってしまいました。ちぎった腕を頭の上でブンブン振り回し大満足のセブンさん。自分の右腕を眺めて「ああ、スッキリした」とばかりにちぎった腕を怪獣に投げつけるのだった。
しかしよく考えればこの怪獣に罪はない。腕をちぎられのたうち回る怪獣を見て、またもセブンさんは頭を抱えます。「ああ!!オレは何てことをしてしまったんだ。口では立派な事を言ったが、ムカついたらコレだ。オレのバカ!」セブンさんはのたうち回る怪獣に馬乗りになると「ごめんよ、楽にしてあげるから」と、モヒカンを外して手に持ち、怪獣ののど元をスパっとちょん切りました。どぴゃあああああああああああああああああああ!!吹き出る黄色い血で全身が染まったセブンさん。「今日も人助けができたな」と空の彼方にかえっていきましたとさ。
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